Pitt Star Wars Episode 1

These were supposed to be posted before by the staff before the bowl game, but due to unforeseen circumstances did not. This started as an idea on Twitter, trading Star Wars jokes back and forth with this being Pitt's third straight visit to the Compass Bowl. Thanks to the staff for letting me work on this. It also may have been in a fancier format if they posted it, so just use your imagination where need be.

Episode I - The Fall of the Stache

(This is the famous scroll)

Late last season, Dave Wannstedt once again blew an opportunity to go to a BCS bowl game, squandering a 21 point lead to the Bearcats of Cincinnati. This exiled the Panthers to the Meineke Car Care Bowl where the evil Urban Meyer stole the spotlight from the Panthers' victory, announcing his resignation.

Meanwhile, a storm was brewing from the South. The ACC was planning to attack the incompetent Big East, targeting two of it's prized teams.

It seemed that it would be The Great Stache's final stand with the Panthers if he could not bring home a winner to his alma mater. He, and The Big East had their backs against the wall....

"Meesa get hired a second time here Wanny!!!!" Jar Jar Pederson was a bumbling idiot and not very well liked. Things were once again crumbling around him. Many people were not only calling for his head, but the head of Dave Wannstedt as well.


On the planet of Tatooine, in the town of Madison, a young, unknown Jedi was quickly making a name for himself. One person took an extreme interest in him. His name: Barry Kenobi. Little did Paul know, that Barry's true name was Barry Wan Kenobi, and he was in fact the greatest Jedi Knight that ever lived.

Found wandering in the desert, completely clueless, was a droid. But this droid was special. T3P0 was shiny and gold. He had a habit of putting himself in terrible situations. It was also his first year of being the center of attention, all on his own. He was befriended by a small droid, R2-D2. Little did T3P0 know of the importance of his new friend... 6_zps0fd2a265_medium

R2-D2 was on a mission to find Barry Wan. He contained an extremely important message: Pitt was in trouble. The Stache had another team that was full of potential floundering again. There were blown opportunities galore on the road at Utah, Notre Dame, and UConn. Miami came in to Heinz Field and did more damage than any hurricane in recent memory. It turns out The Stache only worked 6 days a week, and he took the most important day off. This made the Jedi Council uneasy. West Virginia rolled into town for the final time and embarrassed The Stache's team. It was decided: A new leader was necessary.....

Barry implored Paul to accompany him on his way to save Pitt. Paul was also in need of training. The Force was strong inside him, but he was not quite ready to master it on his own. They ran into Han Solo and his companion, the giant Wookie Chewbacca, and hired them for passage on their ship the Millenium Falcon for passage back to Oakland. But of course, things would not be that simple. 2_zps8cd1d44a_medium

The Big East Death Star was predictably sitting around, just waiting to be blown up 3_zps9ded30b6_medium

In a state of flux since 2004, The Big East was ripe for the taking. The ACC was ready to fully assault The Big East, and to take with it Syracuse and Pitt. They called their ace pilot, John Swofford. 4_zps7f8fea83_medium

The entire crew of the Millenium Falcon were sucked into the battle. Barry Wan Kenobi sacrificed himself in a lightsaber duel against the evil Darth Graham so that the others could escape.

Hooray we can go to a not as bad football conference! 5_zps8d7a5b98_medium

On Endor, those annoying little Ewoks of Morgantown were trying to also flee the Big East. Unfortunately, they were less wanted that an illegitimate child on Maury. Endorwvu_zps65c92cb1_medium


Barry appears as a spirit and tells Paul of a great Jedi Master in the Dagobah system. Yodaditka_zps154b0b52_medium

Our heroes set off with the rebels to a new base to regroup.......

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