Pitt Star Wars Episode III

Side note - I completely ran out of time and energy at this point between the holidays and being hopped up on cold meds for a week at this point. So just like the original trilogy, the quality of the third one fell way down!

Episode III - Return of the Panthi

(The ever famous beginning scroll)

A dark period had encompassed the prestigious planet of Oakland. In the aftermath of the damage caused by the evil cockroach Darth Graham, the Cathedral of Learning could be seen in a state of disarray.

The Panthers' football program was in a state of emergency. The pits of Birmingham had claimed another coach. Would it also claim recruits? The program had become the butt of many jokes, but had sworn to persevere.

The prophecies foretold of a savior that would come from Wisconsin of the Dagobah System. He was quite possibly the greatest Jedi of them all. It would be up to him to guide the team back to glory.....

Paul Skywalker returned from the Dagobah system to claim his role as the leader of the Panther force. He was eagerly accepted by the Panther base. He seemed like a guy you could just kick back with at the Mos Eisley Cantina and have a beer or two with, or if you are Bret Bielema, you meet your wife there. Moseisley_zps6d21617a_medium

It was the final year in the Big East for the Panthi. They would be leaving for the greener pastures of the ACC following this season. Destroy_zpscd7ee121_mediumExpectations were high, but it was another up and down season for the Panthers, ending with a .500 record and another trip to Birmingham to a place the team was unhappily familiar with this time of year.

The Great Pit of Birmingham was about to claim another coach, sending Pitt fans into a sickness worse than the Bubonic Plague. Carkoon_zpse8612098_medium

Bret Bielema, the coach of Paul Skywalker's hometown Wisconsin Badgers, decided to bolt for Arkansas unexpectedly. Jabba_zps6c9ef414_medium

Rumors abound that Paul automatically became the frontrunner for the job. But it was all for not, for there was still a man with integrity in Madison. Said the great Barry Wan Kenobi "I am not a dick." Paul Skywalker followed "I too am not a dick." Vaderdies_zps681ec77f_medium

Pitt fans rejoiced! There was a huge celebration around the almighty Cathedral. Fireworks_zps9fed7058_medium

The Ewoks died because they were stupid and no one wanted them. Deadewok_zpsa76a74a9_medium

Pitt went on to win 25 straight national titles. Final_zps3cd1751e_medium

Hail to Pitt

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