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A Proper Eulogy to the Big Least/American Athletic

Ladies..gentlemen and Hoopies,

We are here today to mou...yeah, I can't say that..to CELEBRATE the death of a conference and the soon to be death of two more. Yes, I'm talking about the Big Least, and the American Athletic Conference. Some say it started when Pitt and Cuse sent applications to, and were accepted by, the ACC. I say it started in 2004 when VTech, Miami and UConn LIte Boston University Boston College went to the ACC and the Big East front offices decided to invade their real competition, the Conference USA.

Will I miss the Big Least? Allow me, once to offer my true opinions, OH HELL NO. I will never miss that much of butt kissing, kowtowing yes men ever. Gone are the Villanovas and Georgetowns and coming in less than 24 hours are the FSUs, the Clemsons, Dukes, UNCs and yes even old familiar faces in Miami, VTech and UConn Li..Boston College.

For now, allow me to say a few words about our former conference mates, because at this point burning bridges doesn't matter (yes, this list credit goes to oaklandzoo12 and many of his words were left in place, I just expanded on them. If you have any legit complaints, let's hear them.)

Providence - You know what sucks about being in a conference run by a small Catholic school? YOU STILL COULDN'T WIN ANYTHING. You could have been the Duke/UNC of the Big East and you didn't even do that. YOU HAD ONE JOB, PROVIDENCE! ONE *)%*#$*#$()ING JOB!

DePaul
- Thanks for always being the almost guarantee win. You were less relevant than Cleveland Browns and Pittsburgh Pirates combined! They at least won games!

Villanova
- Temple LIte. You could have just stuck to the lower mid-majors where you belong; but noooo..have fun being DePaul in a few years!

Georgetown
- ...There were times I hated you guys more than WVU. BTW FGCU called, they can't wait for next time.

St. John's
- You guys are as bad as Providence.

Marquette
- A Mid-Western School in the Big EAST? Makes no sense. No, Notre Dame doesn't count. They were never apart of the Big East

Seton Hall
- You guys get confused with a small Catholic University in a small city south of Pittsburgh. That's gotta suck.

Louisville
- Don't worry, in a year, you can wave the Big East/American goodbye as well! Just continue winning championships

Rutgers
- Have fun being irrelevant in the B1G anywhere for the next millennium. Your only rival will really be Maryland..for relevancy.

Cincinnati
- Feel the worst for you. You deserve better than Tulane. We were rivals, rivals don't deserve this.

South Florida
- Feel bad for you guys, too. But not as much as I'll feel for Cincy.

UConn
- Don't feel bad for you. Thanks for pissing off Boston College enough so we could get in! You guys suck. Cheaters and losers.

West Virginia
- Hope those trips to middle of nowhere Iowa/Kansas/Oklahoma/Texas are worth it! You guys say we needed you more than you needed us? What a bunch of bull. We have Miami, PSU, FSU, Vtech. We don't need you! EVER. It'll be a cold day in Hell before I see you on the schedule again.

Syracuse, Notre Dame - See you guys tomorrow! ACCtion coming to the Big Apple. We made it, guys, we need it. (You both still suck though.)

Ladies and gentlemen, we say goodbye to a conference that caused Pitt fans much frustration, many ulcers and enough heartache to last a lifetime. But we're also leaving some great memories like The Dunk, 13-9..and well, okay, that's all I can think of. The point is we can not focus on the past. Focus on the future. Goodbye, Big Least. Goodbye Providence Yes-Men. Goodbye to Conference USA 2.0. You're off to the mid-majors even in football, while Pitt is off to the promised land.

Was the Big East a bust, despite my constant hammering of it? No, it wasn't. It did what it was designed too--it got Bball on the map. Unfortunately, it outlived its usefulness when football became king. Unfortunately, the in ability for the Big East to catch up led to the department of its real cash cows--Pitt, Cuse, Tech, Miami, WVU. Oh yeah, I guess Boston College is in there somewhere.

The Big East will be missed by those that cared about it. Me? Personally, I'll be flying to Providence to burn the old offices down.

That really only leaves me one thing to say...


Hello, ACCtion!

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