All-Fun Name Team

What can you really say about the Pittsburgh Panthers (8-12, 0-7) this season? They haven’t won a game in a month, and they are still searching for their first ACC victory. There are some bright spots here and there and flashes of potential, but they aren’t a very good team. That might be putting it kindly.

But rather than beleaguer the point, I am going to go a completely different route. Given, the title of the article, it shouldn’t be hard to guess the criteria for making such a team, but here were my guidelines:

1.) The pool of players I chose from started with the 03-04 season

2.) Performance and playing time had nothing to do with my selection process

3.) I can provide almost 0 clarity around how I defined “fun”

With that out of the way, let’s dive right into my choices:

Chevon Troutman (01/02 - 04/05) - I hate to violate one of my “rules” with my first selection, but we are talking about an All-Fun Name Team here. Troutman was a blue-collar player, which is fitting for a guy with the nickname “Chevy”. My family had season tickets for his entire tenure and he was a fan favorite for sure. There are a lot of players in the pool that have a unique first name, but can you think of another whose first name also doubles into a really sweet nickname? I didn’t think so.

Charles Small (03/04 - 05/06) - Everyone else on this list has a spectacular first name, or a winning combination of both first and last name. Small is on this list strictly for his last name and how fitting it was given his stature. At a listed 5’7”, Charles was indeed small by conventional standards.

Ronald Ramon (04/05 - 07/08) - Ronald was really ready to rock the rim. Okay, Ramon probably had less than a handful of dunks in his Pitt career, but the alliteration can’t be ignored. It’s right up there with Peter Parker and Bruce Banner, and they’re both Avengers. If you know more than two people under the age of 25 that are named Ronald, I’d be shocked. It’s a throwback of sorts and one Pitt fans heard quite a few times after a well-timed corner triple from RRRRoonald Ramon!

Sterling Smith (15/16) - I could have easily slotted Smith into this slot based on alliteration alone, but the guys first name is Sterling. While not quite at the top, he’s right up there with guys like Peerless Price and Majestic Mapp - first names that send a message. Sure, he wasn’t the sterling player (see it’s fun) the Panthers probably hoped for, but at least he had an awesome first name.

Peace Ilegomah (17/18 - ) - When your first name is also a noun that is commonly used in a sentence, the sky is the limit. There also isn’t a need for him to ever have a nickname. He may never be a factor for Pitt, but can you imagine the signs with the peace symbol on them if he did?!? What if he becomes a big-time shot blocker? Instead of the Mutombo finger wave, we could get the peace sign! I know, I said performance and playing time wasn’t a factor, but we’re talking about the future...so...I am allowing it.

Feel free to leave your favorites in the comments section. While this season hasn’t given many fans a reason to celebrate, just remember, at least one member of this current team made the unofficial All-Fun Name Team!