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Cardiac Spill: run cbb_preview.sbn(Niagara@Pitt)

In time, robots will do everything - and that includes summarizing and previewing awful, awful early-season college basketball match-ups between teams that are beefing up their win totals and the low-major barnstorming hoi polloi. We are excited to soft-launch that technology today.

Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports
It's A Game Day, Panther Fans!
The Pitt Panthers open their season this coming Friday November 14 with an exciting bout against the Niagara University The Purple Eagles.
Niagara University is a Catholic school in Niagara University, New York, established in the year 5795 Lewiston Rd. It has 4200 students and an acceptance rate of 76% - better than West Virginia, ha ha ha!
Their mascot is the The Purple Eagles. Jeez, wow, what a crazy mascot! What’s a The Purple Eagles? According to their history, it’s some sort of eagle that is purple. Weird! 

Speaking of school history, do you know who
Niagara University boasts as alumni? Why, none other than Hubie Brown and The Wegman’s Grocery Store People! Wow! Maybe after the game we can go to a Wegman’s Grocery Store together. Niagara University plays in the MAAC - that is, the M American Athletic Conference - with the likes of Manhattan University Rider University and , both of whom you may remember as recent opponents who provided exciting schedule filler. I’ve got a bit of a personal connection to this game, myself, as my cousin went to (Niagara Falls once. (So you know my heart’s gonna be in this one!))

On the court last year, the The Purple Eagles went 3-17 in their conference, good enough for last place in the conference and a bid to the nothing. They are led by senior No Seniors on Roster, who figures to feature prominently in his final season of eligibility and provide some crucial mentoring and experience to the young guys out there. Their tallest player is Washington DC, a 6’9" freshman. He is not taller than our tallest guy - watch out for some big blocks! Their roster features a bit of international flair with far-flung ballers like Freshman Scou Hansen, who is Dutch, and Sophomore Thomas Fleming, who is 

The The Purple Eagles
are 2-1 all-time against Pitt - let's see if Pitt can make it 2-2! They last played each other in December 1975, when stamps cost Stamp_Cost(1975) and a gallon of gas was only lose all hope for the season and probably next season, too, because come onnnn. The #1 movie in theaters that week was Niagara University.

The Niagara University The Purple Eagles are currently 263rd on Ken Pomeroy’s team
ranking, and are expected to pose a serious threat to Pitt’s nothing and provide a serious threat in the nothing department as well. Expect the Panthers to heavily feature Mi Young, who I predict will put up RandomInteger(20-30) points tonight. Player Who Looked Good In Preseason also looked good in the preseason, which will (hopefully) carry over into the games that count. 
Elsewhere, expect James Robinson to get at least ten assists, and other starters tbd and tbd to get serious minutes as they fight for their minutes.
Expect to see the walk-ons early in this one. It’s hard not to see Pitt winning this one by at least RandomInteger(20-30) – if they don’t, I’ll fifty nine cents
Enjoy Game day. Go Panthers!
Be sure to join Cardiac Hill's Facebook page and follow us on Twitter@PittPantherBlog for our regular updates on Pitt athletics. Follow the author @N_THEYSTAYTHERE.