Cardiac Spill: Congratulations to the 2014 Big East Champions!

It's been a long road, Pitt fans, but we finally did it.

Sure, technically we also did it 10 years ago. In 2004, a four-way logjam at the top of the standings awarded us a pasting by Utah in the Fiesta Bowl, but this year we finally won it outright. We are Big East Football Champions! Luckily, this year the newfangled rotational schedules left out West Virginia and Rutgers, but with wins against Boston College, Virginia Tech, Syracuse and Miami, the University of Pittsburgh has, at long last, made it to the top of the mountain.

So, you might ask, how is the University community reacting to the big win?

When asked to comment on this week's momentous occasion, Athletic Director Steve Pederson was sincere in his hope for the future:

"I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible. I really think head coach Walt Harris has us going in the right direction as a program. The fans in this city deserve a BCS Bowl participant and we're eager to see which major bowl will take us."

We tried to reach out to Coach Harris to get his opinion on the landmark milestone, but our calls were met with a courteous, if not confused reply:

"Who is this? Why are you calling me? Stop calling me. I've told you before, the Tyler Palko quick kick was a fantastic idea."

Determined to get a real answer from someone inside the locker room, we followed the trail and contacted starting quarterback Tyler Palko and told him that Pitt had won the Big East this year.

PALKO: " I'm so proud of that _______ team!!"

CARDIAC SPILL: "Me too, Tyler! How do you think the team will feel in such a big bowl?"

PALKO: "I _____ bet it's going to be _____ exciting! All those ______ fans in a colossal ______ stadium, all of it on national ______ TV? There's no way Pitt will ______ collapse under all that _______ pressure!"

CARDIAC SPILL: "Will you be nervous under center?"

PALKO: "What the _____ are you talking about?"

It's good to see the team and fans in such high spirits getting ready for a huge BCS game. For the last few years, fans have been anxious, thinking that the system might change and not award such a huge prize to such a mediocre conference. Every year the pundits predicted a battle between Pitt and West Virginia for the top spot in the conference, and every year Pitt has fallen short.

There are even rumors of teams in the Big East being unhappy with the current conference makeup and TV contract, and are considering perhaps leaving for the ACC! Pitt would never stoop to such an obvious money grab. We believe in the Big East, and we we've won it fair and square. The new trophy is on display right now in the Peterson Events Center trophy case:

Onwards to the Orange Bowl, everyone!

*a production assistant leans in and whispers in ear*

wait what