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Cardiac Spill: Sheep Game Results

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YOU voted! YOU decided! YOU said mean things about the basketball coach!

NFL: Cincinnati Bengals at Denver Broncos Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

The results are in!

We received 99 eligible submissions to the first ever Cardiac Sp(H)ill Sheep Game, some from people with the exact same name - so if you’re one of the several Pats who entered, I identified you at the bottom by one of your answers. (Hope you remember what you put.) As promised, certain thematic answers were grouped together, and (for example) “Stallings”/”Kevin Stallings” were always treated like the same answer. As a reminder, you get points based on how many people gave the same answer as you. Scores will be at the bottom, but first, the good bit...

Question 1: Describe Pat Narduzzi in one word.

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Coach 11
Intense 9
Anything Religious 8 Savior, God, Jesus, Saint, Saviour, The Savior, Messianic
Energy/Energetic 7
Dad/Cool Dad 5
Winner 4
Goat 4 G.O.A.T., GOAT
NardWhatever 4 NardDog, NardGod, NardDawg, Hard4Nard
Awesome 3
Fire/Fiery 3
Tough 3
Passionate 2
Hero 2
Calves 2
Gritty 2
Lit 2

Black Sheep (only one point): Bad, Beast, Better, Butter, Dude, Duz, Effective, Feisty, Flight of Foot, Genius, Good, Great, Insane, Inspiring, Italian, Kingly, Leader, Legend, Lunchpail, Motivating, Obama, Savvy, Tall, The Best, Ubermensch, Whiny, intenseawesomesavioureyecandystud, Spilly Sucks


Question 2: Finish the sentence: "As a Pitt fan, I don't get why everyone is so mad at...”

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Kevin Stallings 18
Jamie Dixon 15
Heinz Field 13 Not having an on-campus stadium; attendance; yellow seats
Pitt 8 Us
Cam Johnson/Transfer Blocking 7
Tino Sunseri 4
Everything/Everyone 4 "Everything really I mean what did we expect"
Scott Barnes 3
Paul Chryst 3
Spilly 2 Spilly Sucks, Spilly putting ketchup on everything

Black Sheep: Darrelle Revis, Dinocat, Lou Holtz, Jimmy “Tiger Face” Franklin, The Orb, Dave Wannstedt, “Not Kevin Stallings,” Nordenberg, Todd Graham, The Flyers, Nasir Robinson, “Wait nevermind I get it,” Refs, Success, Penn State not making the playoffs, Heather Lyke, Steve Pederson, Script, “ Our focus on academic priorities over sports ones,” Walt Harris, Donald Trump, “the men who run with the ball very far”


Question 3: Which other ACC school/school's fan-base is actually pretty alright?

Answer Points
Clemson 27
Virginia Tech 17
Syracuse 14
Virginia 11
UNC 5
Boston College 5
Maryland 4
Wake Forest 4
Georgia Tech 3
NC State 2
Louisville 2

Black Sheep: Duke, Miami, Florida State, Penn State, Grambling, Spilly Sucks


Question 4: The best stop for pizza in Oakland is...

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Antoon's 43 Antoones, Antoines
Sorrento's 25
The O 6 Original Hot Dog Shoppe, Dirty O
Sciulli's 5 "...how is this even a question"
No Answer/Pass 3
Papa D's 2

Black Sheep: Papa John’s, Pizza Milano’s, Minio’s, (“it’s not in Oakland, but...”) Vincent’s Pizza, Larry and Carol’s, Pizza Romano, Rite Aid, “a mistake,” the Pizza Hut Express in the WPU basement, CVS Pharmacy, Domino’s, “a pizza place, probably,” Mikey’s Pizza Palace, Spilly Sucks


Question 5: Besides Ryan Luther, name any other player on the 2017-18 Pitt basketball roster.

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Jonathan Milligan 19
Marcus Carr 9
I Don't Know 8 ???, IDK, Uhhh..., etc.
There Aren't Any 7 No One
Who Cares 6 n/a, Pass Again, No Thank You
Cam Johnson 3
Malik Ellison 3
Jared Wilson-Frame 3
lol 3 hahahaha
Monty Boykins 2 Minty Boyktons
Michael Young 2
Peace Ilgomeh 2 Peace Illegomath
Shamiel Stevenson 2
Zach Smith 2
The Walk On 2 A White Guy

Black Sheep: Levon Kendall, Chris Jones, Malik Hooker, “the basketball itself,” Khameron Davis, Chevon Troutman, Butt, John Doe, Kevin Stallings, Kevin Willard, Rafael Maia, “Fire Kevin Stallings,” Tyrone Haughton, Teven Sadams, Kobe Buffaloment, “Can we have Ko back?”, Assisty McAssistface, Rozelle Nix, Your Mom (grad transfer/home economics major), Rozeron Kithigualt, Damon Wilson, Ronald Ramon, Yuri, Brandin Knight, Doug McReynolds, Spilly Sucks


Question 6: Besides Pittsburgh, where do all the Pitt fans live?

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Philadelphia 21 "...for some reason," Phili, Philly, Filthadelphia
Washington, D.C. 11
New York City 9
Outside Philly 8 "Just Outside" of Philly, Outside Philly, Anywhere East of Harrisburg
Outside Pittsburgh 7 Butler, Greensburg, Monroeville, North/East/South of Pittsburgh
Ohio 6 Eastern Ohio
Mental States 5 "in denial-land," "in disappointment," "in a deep emotional abyss," "in constant pain," "in mediocrity"
Pennsylvania 4 Central Pennsylvania, The Rest of PA
Virginia 3 Northern Virginia
State College 3
Erie 2
Harrisburg 2
Oakland, CA 2

Black Sheep: The Moon, Florida, Oklahoma, Online, Denver, Not Pittsburgh, Everywhere, “dark pittsburgh, which is like pittsburgh but spookier (?)”, Georgia, Hell, “Littsburgh,” Chapel Hill, Louisville, Tempe, West Virginia, Spilly Sucks


Question 7: It's obvious that the star of the 2017 Pitt football team will be...

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Quadree Henderson 41 "The Hendersons"
Jordan Whitehead 24
Max Browne 4
Pat Narduzzi 4
George Aston 3 George Astin
Brian O'Neill 3
"The Kicker" 2 "Whoever the kicker is so I don't have to hear Blewitt jokes"
Jester Weah 2

Black Sheep:

  • “The namless unherladed 300+ beefcakes that protect a very good trundling RB and inept-but-sometimes-decent QB”
  • “The clone they made of Lebron James when was in high school. F*** you i know he'd be around 16-17.”
  • “Smiting the corners of Moab, and destroying all the children of Sheth”
  • “you, if you believe in yourself”
  • “Good and not bad”
  • Tony Dorsett
  • Pitt Script
  • Darrin Hall
  • Sheldon Jeter
  • Qadree Ollison
  • Bill Hillgrove
  • “Chantez Moss”
  • Tino Sunseri
  • Bill Stull
  • Bokor
  • Spilly Sucks

Question 8: Describe Kevin Stallings in one word.

Answer Points
Bad 13
Bald 10
Terrible 5
Angry 4
Mediocre 3
Angry 3
S**t 3
Lame 2
Disaster 2
Dumpster (Fire) 2
Idiot 2
Misunderstood 2
F***/F***face 2
Lame/Lame Dad 2

Black Sheep: Sad!, Re-tread, Crap, Average, Coach, Struggling, Rockports, Unfortunate, Mistreated, Ouch, Scapegoat, Disappointing, Difficult, Carsalesman, Butt, Inept, Meh, Arrogant, Loafers, Confused, Crusty, Horrible, Garbage, “The spawn of satin and should burn in hell with Paterno.”, Receding, Suck, Goat, Ass****, Ugh, Hated, Special, Villified, Antichrist, DeezNuts, Athletic, Gone, Dauterivish, Turd, Frustratinglyincompetant, so-very-tall, Ugly, Loony, Employee, Spilly Sucks


Question 9: When I hear "Sweet Caroline,” I immediately...

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Leave 20 Stand, begin my exit, etc.
Sing Along 17 "Break into song, scaring everyone around me", "Sing Cracklin Rosie"
Say/Shout/Yell "Let's go Pitt!" 14
Feel Shame 12 Groan, Cringe, Roll Eyes, Sigh, Hang Head In Shame, "Am embarrassed to be a Pitt fan", Reconsider Fandom
Puke 10 Vomit, Throw Up, Spit Up, Retch
Feel Nostalgia 5
Get Angry 4 "Lose my s***"
Ba Ba Bum 3 Ba Ba Bum, Bum Bum Bum, Do Do Do
Cry 3 Cry Salty Tears, Weep Tears of Victory
Feel Nothing 3 Meh, "Remember that we're not special and that sports is a temporary distraction from the void that is our inevitable death"

Black Sheep:

  • “Start my case for banning Sweet Caroline”
  • “Become erect and nostalgic like Henry Kissinger watching old footage of Vietnamese jungles getting destroyed by Napalm”
  • “Make fun of Penn State”
  • “Put my arm around the person next to me”
  • “open and shut my mouth so people think i'm singing to disguise how i don't actually know sweet caroline look i'm sorry”
  • “Wag my tail”
  • Drink
  • Spilly Sucks

Question 10: What is the best part of, place in, or thing about State College?

Answer Points Accepted Variants
Nothing 26
Leaving 23 "the highways leading out," "the on ramp to whatever highway is the fastest way out of the _______ hellhole," "seeing it in your rear view mirror," "the sign to return to I-80"
Ice Cream/The Creamery 17
42-39/Losing to Pitt 4
It is far away 3 "that there is only one State College," "It is genetically isolated in Rural PA"
Primanti's 2
I have friends in State College 2
The Downtown/Main Street 2
Where the statue used to be 2

Black Sheep:

  • “Beaver Stadium is both rad and the real life Mordor”
  • “I think they have a Hooters”
  • “theres a wegmans”
  • “The 9 rungs of hell”
  • “R U hungry. Notice how all good food there is stolen from rivals. PSU Sucks!”
  • “You can piss wherever you want”
  • “The prison next door”
  • “Joe Pa’s Grave”
  • “lololololol”
  • Statue of Liberty
  • Campus
  • Frat Houses
  • Drinking
  • Cows
  • A bathroom
  • you
  • Dunkin Donuts
  • Spilly Sucks

Question 11: How many wins will Pitt football have in 2017?

Answer Points
9 38
8 31
10 10
15 7
7 4
13 2
11 2
6 1
3 1
1 1

Question 12: This survey is almost entirely about men's basketball and football. I was hoping for at least one question about...

Answer Points Accepted Variants
(Pitt Men's) Wrestling 14
Baseball 9
The Cathedral of Learning 9 Cathy
On-Campus Stadiums 7
Sheep 5 Ovis Aries
Spilly 4 "Your rediculous eating habits," Spilly's Food Opinions, Spilly Sucks
Steelers 3
Donald Trump 3
Athletic Directors 3 Scott Barnes
Your Mom 2
Butts 2
Women's Basketball 2
Academics 2
Oakland Bars 2 Hem's

Black Sheep:

  • “Nothing else, this is what i expected”
  • “Something I am familiar with”
  • “My own emotional well-being”
  • “Scottie Reynolds vs Gilyard.”
  • “The atrocities being committed in Yemen”
  • “Insert random hot college sports girl item here for me to look at with no small amount of guilt. But I will still look.”
  • “How much Penn State sucks”
  • “h2p012 & betthephils rivalry”
  • Recruiting
  • Theresa Nuzzo
  • Women’s Softball
  • Virginia Tech
  • PITT BASKETBALL SHOUTING
  • Girl’s Swimming
  • Rosemary’s Breasts
  • Ultimate
  • God
  • Game of Thrones
  • #PittTwitter
  • Jamie Dixon
  • Taiwan Cafe
  • Pitt Script
  • Primanti’s
  • Pitt State Gorillas
  • Sandwiches
  • The Pens
  • Season Tickets
  • Math
  • Dogs
  • Football
  • Ping Pong
  • Hentai

And now, final scores.

Name TOTAL POINTS
justinxeese 230
Don 226
Paul K 226
Kevin Stallings 225
Matt Iannacci 223
E 213
Chuck 212
Doge Enrico Dandolo 211
JohnnyMiller 211
Anson 210
Mason's Best Friend 209
Corey Cohen 206
Marshall 204
Bryan 203
Brian Batko 203
Doug Chaffee 203
Moister than an Oyster 202
Richmjones23 202
Big Chill Z-Dawg 202
Derek 201
Jim 201
Pat who said Pat Narduzzi is "hero" 201
Ike Christopher 199
John who said Kevin Stallings is "idiot" 198
Chris 196
Brendan Bettez 195
Charlie Hansen 195
The Dan who is neither Dan Hodgson, Dan!, or the Dan with the weird answers 194
Chris Fleckenstein 194
Tom Hustava 192
Twink 191
JPG 191
Dan Hodgson 189
Matt O'Polka 186
Eric Floyd/@Sleepy1193 185
Jordan 185
Greg Newell 183
Tyrell Biggs 180
Pat who said Pat Narduzzi is "energetic" 175
Willard 175
Sean Jameson 175
AJ 173
John Devich 170
Bob M 167
Jessica 167
Pat Narduzzi 166
Andrew Knasko 164
@Hummmmer 161
Captain awesome pants 160
Tony D 158
Jay91 158
Hannah Williams 153
Brian 150
Rachelle 150
Katey Barner 148
Jordan 147
Luke 146
Jack 145
Matt Barnes 142
h2p012 139
DC 136
Jakob Buttz 134
Craig T 134
Farty McPoop-pants 134
Dan! 133
Tortured Pitt Fan 131
Nick 128
Todd 127
Joe Hastings 127
joe juliano 127
Sweet Dave 126
tyrone haughton 126
Matt 124
_dcoot 124
BKPanther 123
PolPitt 122
John who said Kevin Stallings is "horrible" 120
Find 120
Guy Who Used My Real Name 118
Florian L 118
Obama 117
Paul Macaroni 114
Emily 113
Jason 109
Hentai Hentai Hentai 105
Gus miller 104
Chris Lucia 92
Dan who said "intenseawesome" 74
Is what others use to identify me 72
Flips Whitefudge 72
Chapel hill panther 69
CameronWrong 68
Karnal Inclinations 58
Nick F 54
Orenthal James Conner 42
Keith Naughton 35
hi i'm eve 30
Horble Gray 24
Spilly Sucks 21

Congrats to @justinxreese! (Ah, hell, that guy probably has a Venmo account...)

I’d love to do this again some time, so if you liked it, let me know.

Be sure to join Cardiac Hill's Facebook page and follow us on Twitter @PittPantherBlog for our regular updates on Pitt athletics. also also also @N_THEYSTAYTHERE .