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The Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl Coaching Search Drinking Game v4.0

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It may not be a bowl game named after a bank, and it may not be in Birmingham, Alabama...but if there is a coaching search, you can damn well believe there will be a drinking game.

Ugh...beer and Wisconsin cheese will have that effect on you.
Ugh...beer and Wisconsin cheese will have that effect on you.
Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

In the 2011 BBVA Compass Bowl, there was Dave Wannstedt, Phil Bennett, Mike Haywood.

In the 2012 BBVA Compass Bowl, there was Todd Graham, Keith Patterson, and Paul Chryst.

In 2013, there is still only Paul Chryst...but Pitt is still in the BBVA Compass Bowl.

So you know what that means, right? The BBVA Compass Bowl Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl Coaching Search Drinking Game v4.0!

*** DISCLAIMER *** This post is intended for entertainment purposes only. Actually following these rules with alcohol could impede your ability to live until the end of the coaching search, whenever that may be.

So without further ado, we present the BBVA Compass Bowl Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl/Pitt Coaching Search Drinking Game v4.0!

The rules are simple, if any of the following criteria are met, take the specified number of drinks:

1 drink if ESPN mentions a former, interim, current Head Coach. The list includes:
Dave Wannstedt 
Phil Bennett 
Mike Haywood 
Todd Graham 
Keith Patterson 
Paul Chryst
Joe Rudolph
Pat Narduzzi

1 drink if ESPN mentions any potential Head Coaches. The list includes: 
Kevin Sumlin 
Al Goldin 
Dana Holgorsen 
Tom Bradley
Sal Sunseri 
Teryl Austin 
Mario Cristobal 
Greg Roman 
Bud Foster 
Jeff Jagodzinski 
Paul Rhoads 
Luke Fickell 
Jim Tomsula
Dan Mullen
Justin Fuente
PJ Fleck
Doc Holliday
Matt Campbell
Greg Schiano
Charlie Weis

1 drink if ESPN mentions anything related to a potential coaching search for this season. The list of phrases include:
Brett Bielema
Barry Alvarez
Gary Anderson
Wisconsin Badgers
Bo Pelini
Mike Riley
Nebraska Cornhuskers
Oregon State Beavers

1 additional drink for Mike Haywood if ESPN: 
Mentions that he was arrested 
Mentions that he was only the head coach for 16 days

1 additional drink for Todd Graham if ESPN: 
Mentions that he was only at Rice for 1 year 
Mentions that he left Rice just days after signing a contract extension 
Mentions that he has had 4 jobs in the last 8 years 
Mentions that he texted a Pitt staff member to forward to the players

1 additional drink for Paul Chryst if ESPN:
Mentions that he is going home
Shows photos of Chryst playing for Wisconsin
Mentions that his father coached at Wisconsin

The BBVA Compass Bowl Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl Opponent BONUS!

2 additional drinks if ESPN mentions:
That Houston also has an interim coach
Mentions Houston's new coach, Tom Herman
Mentions that Tom Herman was the 2014 Broyles Award Winner

The Coach's Old Job BONUS!

3 additional drinks if ESPN mentions:
Mentions that Pat Narduzzi was the 2013 Broyles Award Winner
Shows footage of Michigan State beating Baylor from the 2015 Cotton Bowl

The Fallout Boy BONUS!

1 additional drink if ESPN:
Plays "Centuries" as a bumper into/out of a commercial

To all those participating, Godspeed.